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All English-language tees.
I EMBEZZLED SEVERAL MILLION EUROS.
I ONLY SLEEP WITH CELEBRITIES.
NASA CALLED ME AGAIN.
BODYGUARD BY DAY. SPY BY NIGHT.
TO MAKE A CROCODILE LET GO, AIM FOR THE EYE.
FORMER SPY. RETIRED.
YOUR MOM CALLS ME "SON."
I TURNED DOWN A ROLE IN GAME OF THRONES.
I BEAT A SHARK WITH MY BARE HANDS.
MY DAD TALKS TO PLANTS.
UNCLE IS A PREPPER.
AUNTIE IS A PSYCHIC.
MY COUSIN IS A FLAT EARTHER.
MY SISTER TALKS IN SLANG.
MY BROTHER IS IN A CULT.
MY MOM THINKS SHE CAN SING.
MY DAD THINKS HE'S FUNNY.
FAMILY DINNER = GROUP THERAPY
MY STEPMOTHER IS YOUNGER THAN ME.
I FOUND MY DAD ON TINDER.
MY KID BLOCKED ME ON INSTAGRAM.
MY KID IS RICHER THAN ME.
MY KID SOLD MY STUFF ONLINE.
MY MOM IS AN INFLUENCER.
BILLBOARDS TARGET ME PERSONALLY.
BIRDS AREN'T REAL.