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All English-language tees.
THE OFFICE COFFEE MACHINE IS BUGGED.
WE BREATHE WHAT THEY WANT.
QR CODES SCAN YOUR FACE TOO.
MISSING SOCKS IS NOT A COINCIDENCE.
PEANUT BUTTER IS MASS CONTROL.
CAPTCHAS TRAIN ROBOTS.
FOG IS HIDING SOMETHING.
UPDATES SLOW YOUR PHONE ON PURPOSE.
SPEED CAMERAS ERASE YOUR MEMORY.
THE LOTTERY IS RIGGED.
MOSQUITOES ARE PROGRAMMED.
BILLBOARDS TARGET ME PERSONALLY.
WHITE NOISE IS A CODED MESSAGE.
SQUIRRELS ARE HIDING MORE THAN NUTS.
RECEIPTS CONTAIN TRACKING CHIPS.
SUPERMARKET LINES ARE SOCIAL EXPERIMENTS.
RED LIGHTS ARE DESIGNED TO ANNOY YOU.
DÉJÀ VU IS A GLITCH IN THE MATRIX.
THE INTERNET WAS MADE TO DISTRACT US.
TIME IS SPEEDING UP ON PURPOSE.
IKEA IS DESIGNED TO TRAP YOU.
DREAMS ARE SOFTWARE UPDATES.
MY CAT WORKS FOR THE CIA.
THE EARTH IS HOLLOW.
BUDGET: SPENT.
BULLSHIT SPECIALIST.
BURNOUT IN PROGRESS.